Being a mother is more than just a label. It is a responsibility and a job in which you are always on duty. You might think that having more kids would mean more of your daily stress, but research disagrees with this notion. In fact, studies show that mothers who have three kids are more stressed than those who only have one or two kids and those with 4 and more. According to this research, the Dugger effect is in place once you reach a certain number of kids and it starts to get easier.
The truth though is that this could be a complete myth!
No number is more or less stressful when it comes to kids.
There is a notion that your level of stress would be dependent on the number of kids you have. Some say that when you reach a certain number, it’ll get easier since you’ll get used to everything. Others believe that the higher the number of kids you have, the more stressful it becomes. The truth is that every kid is different and raising one will always be stressful.
It may be true that your first child will definitely rock your world, especially since that kid would be a life-changer for you. But any kid that follows will be as stressful as the first one, no matter what.
If you find it easier after 4 kids, it means you’ve given up.
The said Dugger effect and the assumption that you will have it easier once you get to the fourth kid is a fallacy. One thing that could probably cause this assumption is the notion that you can just lay low when you reach the fourth kid.
While having a kid for the fourth time may be easier than your first time, the stress in always being concerned is still there and will never go away. If you already gave up and adjusted your expectations about stress, then, that’s something else entirely.
If you are the type of person who gives 100% for every kid, then, this will surely be impossible for you. Yes, there may be times that you step back and rest, but you come out stronger than before. After that break, you’ll do your best all over again. This takes time and effort – for sure, it won’t be stress-free.
More of the stress will come from your current circumstance.
Once you become a mother, it doesn’t matter how many kids you have. The stress will always be there. But if there comes a time that the stress is so unbearable, the reason will be due to your situation and not because of the kiddos.
Stress in your life will come from all sorts of circumstances. It could be because you are undergoing a nasty divorce situation or maybe your kids have special needs and are suffering from some disorders. You can have ten kids, but be in a bearable life where their trust funds are set and everything is planned. You can have one kid and yet, you can’t even buy a glass of milk. It’s all about the circumstance.
If you think you need help with your stress, search for a therapist near me, or better yet consider speaking with a therapist online at a a site like BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/start/.