How To Deal With Silent Treatment




Dealing with silent treatment isn’t easy and some even consider it as a form of emotional abuse. Besides this, it can be extremely annoying especially when you’re trying to work things out with your partner. It can also be damaging for the marriage, which is why it’s important to work on communicating with each other.

You’re probably wondering why your partner is punishing you with silent treatments. Here are few reasons on as to why people resort to silent treatment:

  • They are too upset to talk about their feelings.
  • It’s a way to get what they want, a manipulation trick.
  • They can’t express their feelings and thoughts.


Whatever their reason might be, you don’t deserve silent treatment and it is also vital to communicate with your partner. Communication is an important part of every marriage and your partner needs to realize this. Here are a couple of ways you can respond to silent treatment:


Don’t Blame or Criticize Your Partner:



This will only aggravate your partner. By blaming your partner, it will only worsen the situation. Rather, try and work on finding a solution to resolve your issues and also get your partner to open up to you.


Act Normal While You Are Getting Silent Treatment:

One of the best ways to respond to silent treatment is to act normal. By this, I mean to go about your day as you usually would. Be happy and smile! By sulking, moping, and complaining, will only aggravate the situation. Also, do not respond to silent treatment by giving silent treatment back to your partner. As tempting as it maybe, your issues are not going to get resolved if neither of you will be willing to make an attempt to solve it.


Learn Why Your Partner is Using Silent Treatment:



Have you picked up a pattern on why your partner starts giving you a silent treatment? For example, maybe going out too often or repeatedly doing something which they strongly dislike? Try and discuss with your partner what they dislike and try to compromise. After all, marriage is about compromising for your better half.


Talk to Your Partner:

As mentioned above, discuss with your partner what it is that they dislike and solve it. After your partner has cooled down and is ready to start talking, sit down with him or her. Discuss your issues together and find out their reasons for punishing you with a silent treatment. While you’re at it, this is also the time to talk about your feelings and to make your partner understand that the silent treatment hurts you. Also, try and make them understand that the only way to solve your problems is by discussing it and talking to each other about it.


Tell Your Partner How Much You Care About Them


When you’re in the process of resolving your issues with your loved one, you should also tell your partner how much you love them. Tell your partner how much they mean to you and how much you care about them. A little romance won’t hurt, in fact, it will make things better! So, don’t pass up the opportunity!


Here are some words from therapists and counselors about relationships:

  • “Whatever red flags or differences appear early on, remember they will only get worse. Whatever behaviors might be an issue for you, try to imagine them heightened down the line, and ask if you can live with that.” – Dr. Alisa Ruby Bash, PsyD, LMFT
  • “When a relationship causes anxiety, try not to be spooked, or jump to the absolute worst conclusion. Thinking about anxiety as useful, rather than a nuisance, can help you use it constructively. ” – Alicia H. Clark, PsyD
  • “. Acceptance entails making peace with the loss, letting go of the relationship and slowly moving forward with your life.’ – Christina Hibbert, PsyD


If All Else Fails and You Still Haven’t Found Out the Reason for Your Partner’s Silent Treatment,

If all has failed and you still haven’t found the reason or he/she is not willing to speak to you about it or even trying to solve the issue, then it might be time to seek further help. If you have tried multiple times and you are constantly getting the cold shoulder from your partner, then you should seek the help of a relationship counselor. A therapist can help you with solving your issues and also get to the bottom of your partner’s feelings.