Category: Stress Management

Every client who entered my therapy clinic asked me how to live stress-free. It did not matter if they came to me for help due to divorce, family issues, domestic abuse, etc. Everyone dealt with stress, and they wanted to know what they could do to make it go away.

Below are some of the things I recommended to my clients.

Limit The Frequency Of Thinking Ahead

I advocate thinking in advance as it makes it difficult for problems to catch you off-guard. I often do so regarding possible natural disasters, food shortages, and other unavoidable phenomena. However, I would not recommend thinking ahead every day since it could make you paranoid and wary of everything.

I had seen the adverse effects of this activity in one of my friends. Whenever she would have a boyfriend, she would make a list of deal-breakers and show them to the guy. Then, there would be a speech about what they should do if they felt like cheating on her.

Most boyfriends found it weird; that’s why my friend was still single at 50. That was sad, in my opinion, because it was not her choice. Still, she had to deal with the consequence of think in advance more than necessary.

Try Not To Overanalyze A Situation

Analyzing a situation is ideal because it allows you to take control of what you are dealing with. You can understand how it started and progressed, as well as how you could resolve it.

Unfortunately, whenever a situation becomes larger than life, we tend to overanalyze it. We keep on looking at the same angle and wondering why we have not come up with a solution yet. And if days passed without change, it could knock our confidence and maximize our stress level.

To keep that from happening again, I suggest thinking outside the box whenever you face a tricky situation. More importantly, please be open to resolving the matter using unconventional methods. That’s among the best ways to remain stress-free in the face of challenges.

Avoid Meddling In Other Folks’ Businesses

My dad’s eldest brother had a habit of looking at others’ problems as if they were his own. If he heard that someone was in trouble, whether they’re relatives or not, he could not rest until the issue had been resolved. More often than not, he would insert himself into the situation and try to fix everything.

I knew that my uncle’s behavior came from a place of love. His father died early, so he became the man of the house at a young age. Having such a massive responsibility early could have turned into a force of habit for him.

Everyone encouraged the man to stop meddling in other folks’ businesses since it was not ideal for his health. In truth, it’s not great for anyone of any age, especially if your life is already worry-free. Let the problematic people handle their problems instead.

Don’t Stick With A Job That You Hate.

Being a college student once upon a time, I knew what it was like to stick with a job that I did not love. I was a waitress at a local diner back then, and I dreaded every moment of it. I left my job as soon as I received my diploma from pursuing other careers that interested me.

While I managed to do so, I knew that many people stuck with a job they hated. Some feared starting over again; others felt like the least they could do was stay loyal to the company that gave them a chance. However, it usually resorted to poor performance, stress, and lack of direction in life.

If you were ever in the latter situation, please resign from your post and have the courage to veer away from your current path. You have a dream – you know what you must do to achieve it. Everything will fall into place once you unshackle yourself from your stressful job.

Be Thankful For The Blessings

I developed a habit of recounting every fantastic thing that happened to me that day. It could be as simple as beating the rush hour, getting my lunch early, or hearing a compliment about my work.

Was that too egotistical of me? I hardly thought so. I always counted my blessings because I was thankful for all of them. They kept me from having enough time to think of the things that I still did not have in life. It’s an excellent practice to keep envy at bay.

Reeling In

In all honesty, I believe that you already know the things I mentioned above even before reading this blog. Our parents or guardians taught us to be thankful, avoid being nosy, and stay happy. Despite that, everyone needs a little pick-me-up to recall what they should and should not do to live stress-free.

Good luck!

Stress for me is encountered when the boundaries within a certain area are being pushed. Just as the fibers on a rope become stressed when tension is applied, the same happens within our thinking and physiology. The more pressure there is, the more tension there is; the greater will be the chances of a catastrophic failure.

According to Jamie Marich, Ph.D., LPCC-S, LICDC-CS, RMT, “Stress is anything life brings our way that has the potential to upset our balance.”

When the stress levels get beyond being manageable, we have to take up ways to reduce them. We might not be able to control the stressors, but we can surely minimize the harm it  does to our mind and body.

The signals of stress

• Increased heart beat
• Abnormally high or low blood pressure
• Sweating or heat flush
• Loss of appetite
• Sleeplessness
• Irritability and hypersensitivity.
• Feelings of hopelessness
• Self Doubt
• Fear of failure.
• Low mood

Stress is nothing more than a behavioral state. We all have a “built in” stress response. You can get stress because of business. According to Lisa Bahar, LMFT, LPCC, “When an individual is in a job that lacks growth and is fostering complacency, there is a [sense of] a lack of worth.” Managing stress is just a matter of working out a system that best suits you, allowing you to utilize it when required.

The 8 strategies to manage stress

1. Meditate — A few minutes of meditation everyday reduces stress and anxiety. Choose any time suitable for you. Sit up straight and focus your attention in looking or reciting a particular thing. Take deep breaths and do not let any negative thoughts in. Keep yourself away from any gadgets (phone,laptop, computer, television, etc.) and allow your mind to be free from any distraction while you meditate. You can see the difference after each session.

   

Saundra Jain, MA, PsyD, LPC says “Mindfulness meditation practices are effective interventions, and sometimes for mild to moderate conditions—depression and anxiety—super-effective as front lines.”

5. Watch or learn something that triggers positive emotions — This can be looking back at any media footage that produces “positive emotions”; it maybe pictures of your children or family, or even YouTube clips of amazing events. Whatever you choose, do this at least once during the day.
6. Communicate — Talk out or write down your problems. Talking about problems helps a lot in reducing stress and allow us to see the different perspectives from which we can see a situation. Call a friend or talk to anyone you trust. A reassuring voice and a friendly conversation is all that is needed to let you forget all problems.
7. Eat right — Stress levels are closely related with the diet we follow. When we are stressed, we usually forget about the calories and sugar. People turn to having snacks or ice creams and other foods that they find comforting. Having a healthy diet in stressful time not only keeps us healthy, but it also lets us concentrate on our own well being.

   

8. Tune in to your body — There are many ways to strengthen our physical system. Exercise does not only mean lifting weights in gym. A brisk walking or jogging schedule, stretching, swimming, cycling, dancing or sports — any physical activity can help in reducing stress. It normalizes the body functions and improves the mood almost instantly.
9. Find your zone — Creating your zone is highly personal and something that is tailored according to your emotions. It may contain music, friends or anyone else, but whichever way you achieve it, it is a mental escapism that allows your thoughts to wander and/or your body to be at rest.
10. Be thankful — It is amazing how a simple “thank you” can change the dynamics of those around you or the perceptions others have about you. The act of thanking others or of showing gratitude is one that is less demonstrated in the modern society. Sure, it doesn’t rub off on everyone, but the more you practice doing it, the more you will experience it in return. Watch how quickly your emotions change as you thank others.
11. Replace the negative thoughts — It is not easy to think about rosy things when we are in a harsh time. But our ultimate goal is to wipe out the negativity that causes stress. Practice replacing each negative thought with “three” positive ones.

Only 10% of our happiness is the result of your outside world and 90% of your happiness is the result of our internal world.

So “choose” to make the changes that make you happy. Be in harmony with yourself. As Lord Buddha has said:

“ The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”

“The root of all health is brain.

Stress and the way we express them varies from  person to person. It our perception that makes the difference. What may seem stressful to one person may be endurable to another.

It is important to mention that all stress is not bad. Moderate stress keeps the motivation going. The stress hormones that our body releases (adrenaline, noradrenaline, cortisol) in response to stress helps us to protect ourselves against any harm to the self.

According to Rachel Fintzy Woods, MA, LMFT, “Stress lasts for a extended period of time, our bodies can begin to break down.”

How stress affects our physical and mental health                                                  

The stress-heart connection : Chronic negative stress has negative influence over the cardiac functions. Stephanie Dobbin, LMFT, CGP says “Maybe your stress comes in a different form. Or maybe your stress feels especially immense and nebulous, and you’re not sure where it’s coming from.”

• An immediate response to stress is an elevated heart rate, which causes the arteries to constrict and blood pressure rises as a result.
• Negative stress alters the rate of heart beats. It becomes a matter of serious concern if it persists for long.
• Our body releases inflammatory markers in stress, which increases the potential risk of suffering a cardiac arrest.
• Increased stress causes a condition called cardiomyopathy, which creates chest pain, and can eventually cause blood vessel damage in the heart.

Stress and Nerves : A direct effect of stress is seen in the Autonomic Nervous System, which is responsible for releasing the stress hormones. Although the nervous system is not under our control, but there are symptoms which signal that the nervous system is affected.

Symptoms of nervous tension are:

• Blushing and heat flushes
• Tremors
• Dryness of mouth

Immunity and Stress : Immune system is the interaction between our cells and the foreign elements in body. The frequent activation of the autonomic nervous system, which is responsible for the “fight or flight” responses to stress interferes with the immune system causing immune deficiency and making our body susceptible to diseases.                                                                       

Stomach and Digestion : Stress affects the rate of absorption of nutrients in the digestive system. People  suffering from stress disorders often report abnormal eating behaviors (uncomfortably low or high amount of food intake) resulting in significant weight loss or gain. Enduring negative stress hampers the normal lifestyle and affects bowel and bladder functions as well. Digestive dysregulation causes :

• Nausea and vomiting
• Frequent Stomach aches
• Disturbance in bowel and bladder functions
• Diarrhea and Dehydration

 Physical Diseases triggered by stress :

1. Diabetes — There is a higher risk of developing diabetes for people in stress. Continuous stress increase the levels of the stress hormone cortisol which is responsible for maintaining the glucose regulation in blood. The American Diabetes Association has found out that the management of diabetes to be much difficult for people who are enduring stress than those who are stress free.
2. Substance Abuse and addiction — Taking the help of alcohol, cigarettes or drugs has always been related to stress. Substance Abuse becomes a mental escape for the person and day by day he/she keeps increasing the quantity to attain the same amount of pleasure.

Mental Health : Not only physical health, stress also challenges mental health and well being of an individual. Stress triggers intense emotions which determine the way we react. According to Simon Rego, PsyD, “It seems obvious that experiencing a depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, would be required for someone to be diagnosed.” Researches have suggested that the brain activity during stress deviates from the normal state. As a result, negative thoughts and emotions are experienced that cause distress and lead to the development of disorders like social phobia, depressive disorders (minor to major), mood disorders and schizophrenia.

The results of numerous scientific studies have added much weight to the belief that the human mind has the power to facilitate healing in the body. Managing stress is a combination of lifestyle modification, nutrition and exercise — all of which aim towards a fully functioning body and mind. We always have enough resources within ourselves to fight stress ; we only need to find and make the most of them.

One way to fight stress is by trying out BetterHelp. This site is offering one on one virtual counseling and group therapy as well.

Choose to be happy and live stress free.

There are many sources of stress for couples, and it’s not always physical manifestations that can be easily identified. Most of the time, there are internal battles and thoughts we keep to ourselves that dictate how we feel, and later on, how we react. Relationships have a lot to do with understanding that we are human, and work through the issues that come with it. 

There are times when you have to slow down or take a break from the relationship. According to Bianca L. Rodriguez, LMFT, “Taking a break usually means that a couple has made a conscious decision to change their relationship status to create space to reevaluate it.” 

Continue reading “Top 5 Stress Relief Tips For Couples “

Writing is one of my ultimate passions in life that I decided to embrace at the age of 16. I used to create articles for the school paper, join journalism competitions, and even prepare speeches for various people. Even though I slightly went on a different path when I decided to take up a bachelor’s degree in Chemistry at the university, writing never left my heart. So, when a door opened for me to return to my first love, I stepped right into it at once without looking back.

The journey from there, however, was honestly not the easiest. For sure, I loved writing more than anything, and it would bring me so much joy to see others read or learn from my work. The thing is, I chose to remain in the freelancing world in which everyone has to fight for their spot or be ready to take on multiple projects at once to make ends meet.

At first, it was still fun. I would proofread books on the side, write articles for two different clients, and beta-read for another author. When the first and last projects ended, I was left with writing jobs. To be specific, I had to write five or six articles every day, with the clients merely giving me a title and set of keywords. The more days went on, the more it felt like my ideas were running out. Then, one morning, I caught myself staring at a blank page for hours, unable to type even a single word even though a lot of thoughts were screaming in my head.

Yes, stressing over your writing job can happen, no matter how much you love it. It cost me a few clients in the past, but now I can share a few things I do to overcome stress when you are a writer.

Jamie Marich, Ph.D., LPCC-S, LICDC-CS, RMT said “Stress is the pattern of specific and nonspecific responses an organism makes to stimulus events that disturb its equilibrium and tax or exceed its ability to cope.”

1. Try To Sleep It Off

The first thing you should do is to force yourself to take a nap. Sleeping tends to recalibrate your brain and relax your body. When you wake up, therefore, you will ideally feel fresh ideas rushing in your mind.

Shelby Harris, PsyD said “The sleep environment is an important, but largely ignored, component of a good night’s sleep.”

2. Listen To Instrumental Songs

It helps to look for the instrumental versions of your favorite songs as well. Since you don’t hear words, you automatically feel the need to supply them. That will push your brain to start thinking coherently, which may lead to you coming up with things to write about.

3. Get Your Pen And Paper

Using a computer or laptop is a necessity to get your work out there, but it can undoubtedly become a thought-blocker. The more you cannot express your ideas through words, the more you may feel too stressed out to function. During such desperate times, you should rely on a pen and paper so that technology cannot hinder your thoughts.

Final Thoughts

Dealing with stress even when you are doing something you love is healthy. You are doing a lot of things at once by typing, doing research, thinking, and formulating words. You have to put yourself in the shoes of different people as well, especially if you need to appeal to various target markets. However, you should not let stress put out your passion for writing. Follow the tips mentioned above now. Good luck!

If you think writing is not enough, you can always consider getting fit. Dan Burris, MA LPCC LADC said “Exercise provides an excellent release of stress, increase of natural endorphins, mental and emotional well-being. It’s also a nice excuse to get away from the crowd and spend some peaceful time of self-care.”

“You only live once.” That is a motto that practically every millennial swears by these days. It is the driving force behind every crazy activity they try or every adventure they take on. These people do not care much about owning a house or having a stable source of income. A lot of them merely stick to their jobs to fund the things they want to do. If someone offers to pay for every trip they go to, it is possible that they will not think twice before saying adios to their bosses and colleagues.

The thing is, such ideals are much different from what the generation before they follow. In their parents’ mind, everyone should keep on working hard to save for retirement. They frown upon young people who get their paycheck and blow it all at the mall or leisure trip. They are not fond of the YOLO movement either, which makes them think that kids nowadays are getting lazier by the minute.

If I can be honest, though, I would say that the members of the previous generation need to loosen up a little. To give a new twist to an old saying, all work, and no play does not make life worth living. The millennials may have to learn more about taking responsibility, but the adults should know how to relax sometimes as well because:

1. Stress Will Be A Staple In Your Life

Stress is essentially not bad from time to time. It means that you are doing something with your life; you are not waiting for others to do all the work for you. However, if you resist that vacation leave that your bosses are offering to you, stress may become the only constant thing in your life.

Carolyn Ferreira, PSyD suggests to repeat this to yourself daily: “May I be peaceful” or “a similar soothing word that works for [you], such as ‘happy,’ ‘calm’ or ‘safe.’”

2. You Cannot Appreciate The Things Or People Around You

Focusing too much on your responsibilities makes you insensitive towards the people or things around you. You may say that you are not doing anything wrong, that you are working hard for everyone you love, but that’s no excuse to take a step back at times. This way, you can appreciate what – or who – you have in your life.

3. You Deserve To Enjoy The Fruits Of Your Labor

Going on a short holiday with your loved ones does not have to break the bank, just in case that’s what’s stopping you from doing some recreation and relaxation. Lisa Kaplin, PsyD said “When we’re stressed, we tend to focus on everything that is going wrong, which makes it even harder to unwind.”

But take note that it is not terrible to splurge on yourself a bit, especially if you have been working nonstop in recent years. No one deserves to enjoy the money you have made more than yourself.

In The End

Relaxing after completing a massive project or even working overtime is not a crime. It is essential, to be honest, for your sanity. If you drive yourself to the bone all the time, you will become a slave of your work. Unhappiness will soon come forth, and then you may end up not knowing who you have become. I can tell you now how scary that realization can feel, so you should not allow the situation to get too crazy.

Bonus fact about stress and anxiety from Dr. Deborah Khoshaba, PsyD: “Eating nutrient-deficient foods, not getting enough carbohydrates, protein or fat in your diet, or not eating enough can fluctuate blood-sugar levels that trigger anxiety.”