Therapy 101: When Stress Became Too Much To Eat For Breakfast

I was among those weird individuals who loved stress. While most people wanted to run away from it, I ran after it and welcomed it into my life. I did that by multitasking all the time. I was not great at that activity, but getting everything done often gave me immense pleasure.


Because of that, my friends said that I was an adrenaline junkie. I did not dabble in drugs or extreme sports, but I enjoyed stress a little too much. And if I didn’t feel pressured enough, I tend to be sluggish and bored.

I must admit that I was guilty of all that and more. If I was not dealing with a stressful situation, it felt like I was doing something wrong with my life. It was as if I was breezing through everything, and that was not okay. I had to do more things to stress myself out so that my accomplishments would be sweeter.

In Pursuit Of Stress

It all started after college. I snagged an incredible job at a multinational company as a financial consultant. I was a fresh graduate, but they gave me a chance to prove my worth after seeing all my awards in college.

The new job put a lot of activities on my plate. There were training, seminars, practical exams, etc. When the actual job started, I also talked to clients left and right, going with only a few minutes of break. My supervisor told me not to overdo it, but I insisted that I loved eating stress for breakfast.


After a short while, though, my daily activities felt a little monotonous. The number of people I met did not wane, but I had been getting used to the job too much. I felt the itch to multitask again, so I decided to open a small restaurant nearby.

Didn’t I know that being a restaurateur was a demanding task? Yes, of course! That’s the primary reason why I chose to venture into this business. I could have opened a café, which was not too busy, but I had to go big to feed my stress hunger.

When Stress Became Too Much For Me

There were so many things I could have done to make my life easier as an entrepreneur. For instance, I could have rented an establishment in good condition. I could have bought ready-made tables and chairs. More importantly, I could have hired a manager to help me screen the people applying for jobs at the restaurant.

But no – I opted for an establishment that needed a lot of renovation. I also asked a company to customize the furniture that would go in the restaurant. And I did all the job posting and hiring myself instead of asking a friend or relative to help me with that. The result was that my stress level became too much before I could even launch my new business.


How did I know that it was too much, you might ask? Well, I developed acne again, for one. I thought I was over it when I went past 18, but it returned with a vengeance. Aside from appearing on my face, pimples also appeared on my back and chest, which was both painful and embarrassing.

My headaches were on another level as well. I used to get them before, but they would go away once I took a nap. This time, though, I could take a pill and sleep, and then I would feel it again as soon as I woke up.

Worse, my immunity level went down. I was not quick to catch the flu in the past if I ever got rained on or soaked in sweat. However, most likely, I would cough or sneeze due to stress, even if I only stayed under the sun for less than an hour.


When I went to our family doctor, I told her every symptom I experienced. After giving me a flu shot, she said, “I need to be honest with you. You have way too many things on your plate, and I’m worried for you. Would you mind seeing my daughter, who is a psychologist and therapist?”


Who was I to say no to that? In truth, before contacting my doctor, I thought of doing the same thing. I could no longer justify my need for stress since it had affected my health adversely.

The mental health professional informed me that stress – like any substance – could become addictive. That’s what I had been dealing with, but no one might have thought to give me an intervention because it was not a common form of addiction. Still, it was damaging me from the inside, so I should treat it at once.

I stayed in therapy for a year. I knew it would seem long for some, but loving stress was a deep-seated issue that I could not let go of overnight. There were times when I did not think it was even possible, but I was lucky to have the support of my therapist and family.

I eventually left my corporate job and focused on my restaurant. It was still somewhat stressful, but I could handle it now.

The Value Of Having Time Apart 


When people think of stress, they are more often than not thinking about themselves. Stress is something the individual feels, experiences and has to deal with. Also, stress is to what extent it affects the people around you, and its lasting adverse effects. 



It’s especially important in the context of a marriage, where law binds two people and have a duty to raise their family and provide for their needs. That alone is a daunting task, and it becomes even more challenging as problems and stressors arise. 


In most societies, divorce or anything to that tune remains taboo. However, time apart in the sense of reestablishing one’s identity is entirely fair. There’s a healthy balance to having time apart as a couple to improve relationships and the wellbeing of the surrounding people. 


 What Is Time Apart 

The crucial thing to acknowledge here is that marital problems are completely natural. It’s a part of married life that couples must experience and resolve together. Time apart should never be a way to escape dealing with problems and let it become a band-aid solution that may or may not end well for couples in the long run. Time apart is giving the individual a chance to nourish their mind, body, and soul individually to encourage a lasting positive impact on the relationship. 




What It Does For You 

Time apart allows the individual a chance to think. When stress comes about, it’s easy to become angry, irrational, and say things without genuinely thinking about it. There’s much value in getting a chance to stop and think because it’s the only way we evaluate ourselves and what we feel. It means being less irritated, appreciating things more, and radiating more positive energy. Another critical aspect of having time apart is that it allows the individual space to revisit their passions. 


Someone who rekindles with their passions and makes time for hobbies are proven to be in a much happier disposition than the average person. In the case of a marriage, you may need to break away from your partner and family and focus first on what makes you personally happy and inspired. The happy disposition you can get from being passionate will surely reflect well for the family. 


Who You Do It For 

Who exactly are these “surrounding people” we talk about? At the core of the family unit are the children. Parents everywhere strive to be the best they can be by providing the best and most comfortable and positive living situation for their children. They are the most significant reasons to maintain a healthy relationship between parents. 




 Spending time apart doesn’t have to be the specific solution to keeping a healthy relationship. Explore the realities of your relationship and assess what will help bring it to its desired state. It could be time apart, counseling, a vacation, and there’s a world of options waiting. The message to keep in mind is that individuals need to take care of themselves to live in harmony with other people. 




6 De-Stressing Activities To Enjoy With Your Partner Today 

Being in a relationship is a very special experience. However, due to chaos in society, stress has become inevitable for everyone. Having a healthy lifestyle is even more important now, including personal holistic health and working on your relationships. According to licensed clinical social worker Jody Ford, “stress impacts our love relationships more than we are aware of or acknowledge.” 




Stress is all around us–at work, at home, at school, maybe even at your local grocery store that has incomplete inventory. Because stress is unavoidable, the best solution is to accept it and help reduce stress levels by employing fun and stress-relieving activities. According to Dr. David Ballard, PSyD, ““When stress becomes chronic, this narrow focus continues for a long time and we have difficulty paying attention to other things.” There are a lot of stress-relieving activities that you and your loved one can do together. Below are six de-stressing activities you can enjoy with your partner today: 


  • Workout Together 

Doing physical activities is a great way to relieve stress. Engaging in blood-pumping exercise releases endorphins, which are hormones responsible for promoting good sleep and reducing stress. More so, there are different types of exercises you and your loved one can try even at the comforts of your own home. 




  • Have A Quiet Dinner At Home 

Enjoy a home-cooked dinner without bringing your mobile phones and other devices on the table. The distractions provided by your devices can affect how you enjoy your meal. Without the presence of mobile phones and other devices, you and your loved one can enjoy an intimate dinner and reconnect with great conversation and quality time together. 


Tip from LeMel Firestone-Palerm, LMFT, LPCC, CGT: Beware of trashing your partner (with others or in your thoughts), avoid making negative comparisons of your partner with others, or nurturing resentments.


  • Play Some Board Games 

Put the board games out of the cupboard! Playing board games for a couple of hours is a great way to reduce stress and have fun with your partner. Connect and have quality time with your loved one by playing board games together. You can have an easy conversation while playing, and you can also laugh at each other’s funny moments during the game. 


  • Schedule A Staycation 

A vacation doesn’t have to be grand and done in the neighboring city or country. Most people think that a luxurious vacation is always a solution to forgetting stress for a while. In fact, there are some things you can explore right in your own town or city. Because a grand trip isn’t always possible, trying something new right in your own town or city can be a great way to reduce stress together. 


  • Have A Couples Massage 

Massages are a great way to relax your body and reduce stress levels. Doing it with your partner beside you can be a great way to relax together. A couples massage is a great way to relax and connect with your loved one. Forget the stresses of your days for a while and focus on relaxing with your partner.  




  • Take A Long Walk Together 

Being in nature has a great effect on relaxing our minds and reducing stress levels. It’s also a great way to get the blood pumping in your body. Going for a walk together is a great way to improve you and your loved one’s moods. This is a great way to have quality time together and have a great conversation without the constant buzz of other distractions. 


You can also try couples therapy together. According to Margaret Wehrenberg, PsyD, “Psychotherapy can help sort out the cause, and that leads to the most effective treatment plan.”  




All The Possible Sources of Relationship Stress 


It may have felt like the best feeling in the world at the start, but every relationship usually goes through the phases of problems whether couples like it or not. However, problems and issues that always pop out and occupy each partner’s minds will result in relationship stress and are deemed unhealthy if left unresolved. 

 According to Simon Rego, PsyD, “We also know that the brain is very complex, so that many different neurotransmitters or ‘brain chemicals play a role in influencing, and being influenced by, our emotions.”



If you’re having this kind of confusion in your relationship, then check out all these sources of stress that are possibly hindering you and your partner’s healthy romance. 


Financial Issues 

While money is a sensitive talk among people especially between a couple, financial experts still regard ignorance of money issues to be one of the leading culprits of stress in a relationship. Real couple accounts agree to this, and even they are suggesting that money should be talked about during the early phases of the relationship. 





As a relationship goes deeper and deeper, couples will eventually share things – from basic household items to investments for the future. Thus, money will be significantly involved. Problems with finances, however, rise among partners if their perspectives are not considered by each other. Experts tell that women view money as security, while men take it as an indicator of self-esteem. Understanding each view is vital to set rules and limitations when it comes to joint spending and saving. 


Trust Issues 

It’s okay not to place too much confidence in your partner as a way of keeping your heart safe should things don’t go well. However, excessive mistrust may change the way your partner feel about your relationship. Too much lack of confidence in your romance may affect both your behavior and relationship with other people. 


Not having enough confidence in your partner is serious relationship stress in itself as your mind wanders and thoughts race every time your partner is not with you. Loss of physical intimacy may disappear, and irritable confrontation from having too much of this so-called trust issue can be damaging to both of you. 


Communication Problems 

Lack of communication can bring a lot of misunderstanding between partners.  Ignorance and inability to listen to each other’s feelings and opinions are also major factors significantly causing stress and strain in your relationship. 


Communication issues between the two of you may also stem from poor time management skills. Allot some time for you and your partner to talk about even the basics – the usual how are you, how was work, what are your plans, etc. Most importantly, tell your partner how much you love him/her, no matter how obvious it may be. 


Do not get distracted with your work, business or even social media accounts. According to Rachel O’Neill, Ph.D. LPCC-S, “It’s hard to step away from the constant cycle of news,” O’Neill said. “Whether you’re watching one of the 24 hour news channels on TV or you’re scrolling through one of the social media sites.” However, you have no choice but to do it.



The tension in a relationship can start from criticizing your partner. Comparing your partner or your relationship with others is not healthy and can be damaging to one’s mentality. Couples should be sensitive enough to their partner’s feelings. Keeping positive vibes and maintaining a positive outlook between you and your partner have long been identified as a solid foundation to make your relationship last longer. 


Physical Health 

Ignoring oneself can also affect your relationship. Being too conscious of your body by eating less, working overtime, and sleeping late most of the time can bring serious problems to your mental health and the way you cope with stress and tension. Learn to take care of you and your partner’s physical aspect by starting to manage the food you eat and your habits. 




You and your partner may not notice that these factors are slowly eating your relationship and affect both your daily lives. It is essential that the above aspects and prospects are known so as it may pave the way to fix the causes of whatever it may be that is bugging both of you now. Practice open communication and start discussing this relationship stress for a happier, healthier and lasting relationship. 

You can also try to go to therapy sessions. At the same time, downloading mental health-related apps can also be a good option. According to Sal Raichbach, PsyD, LCSW, “such apps have the potential to reach people who would otherwise not receive help by removing the barriers to treatment.” 

Stress Facts That You Don’t Want To Hear



People say that you are not doing anything meaningful in life if you never feel stressed out. While that may be true, you should not feel the need to harbor as many sources of stress as possible to be able to claim that you are doing something relevant.

Jenev Caddell, PsyD said “While there are numerous ways to slow down and be more present, the key to cutting down the worry is remembering the importance of doing so.”

Otherwise, you experience the following results of stress that you undoubtedly do not want to hear.

1. It Makes You Ugly

No one can deny how much we all want to look fabulous in everyone’s eyes. The proof of that is the increasing number of makeup, whitening, or tanning products that get advertised in different media outlets every day. More aesthetic centers are popping up as well, considering people have a lot of features that they want to fix.

The thing is, no matter how many products you slap on your face and body, they will all end up useless if your stress level is taller than you. When you wipe off the cosmetics or get rid of the augmentations, you may still look old and ugly since stress can dry your skin, cause acne breakout, and produce wrinkles.

2. It Pushes Your Loved Ones Away

You cannot possibly be exposed to gamma radiation, but when you’re too stressed, you can quickly turn into Incredible Hulk with the slightest triggers. For instance, if your kid comes back in the house after playing outside and you see their dirty clothes, you may scold him or her for that. In case a colleague asks about the project you’re both working on, you bark at them to check it on their own.

Do you want to become an island that’s isolated by every living creature? It can happen if you don’t try to reduce your stress levels.


3. It Causes You To Miss Opportunities

Stress can make your vision narrow, frankly speaking. You may be too busy at work to realize that there’s an email from another company that wants to offer you a higher salary and position, for example. Your friend may also want to set you up on a blind date with a fantastic guy, but you avoid it because you don’t have the time. The keys to the doors that open for you, therefore, end up getting picked up by other people.

Considering you don’t wish to miss opportunities in the future, do your best to lessen your sources of stress. Relax a bit after a long day; don’t take your work at home. Furthermore, if you have to, file for an indefinite leave of absence as well to find yourself again. This way, you will become alert enough to know when chances come your way.

Jenna Wierenga, PsyD said “Catastrophic thinking is pondering all the negative reasons why your date didn’t return your call right away.”


Final Thoughts

Stress is not your best friend; it does not have your best interests at heart. You cannot be extremely happy or fulfilled as long as you are dealing with too much stress. Try to get rid of your stressors at some point or at least reduce their number to avoid seeing the facts mentioned above come to reality. For example, try to look for a hug from someone you love. According to Scott Bea, PsyD, “If you received a hug on a day that you had experienced some interpersonal conflict, the hug was actually a modifier of the stress response – meaning you had less of an increase in negative emotion, and less of a decrease in positive sentiment, if you got a simple hug.” Cheers!

Dealing With The Stress Of Parenting




The stress that comes with parenthood is immense. To find the perfect balance between work, marriage, finances and at the same time, raise the children in the best possible way is not an easy task and it becomes very stressful for parents to meet up all the demands of life equally well.

Parenting stress cannot be avoided. Be it pregnancy, delivery, feeding, schooling or teaching discipline to kids, each day brings new challenge for the parents and fighting with the daily hazards often make them “fatigued”. Alicia H. Clark, PsyD says “Even for the most skilled parents, parenting a child who has intense emotions isn’t easy.”

Continue reading “Dealing With The Stress Of Parenting”

Are You Stressed? Discussing The Different Types Of Stress



One must remember that stress can bring out the best or the worst in you during a certain situation. It means that not all types of stress are bad, but too much and too frequent stress can bring about a myriad of disadvantages. Stress must be coped with and managed because it is but a part of life. So, in order to manage it, you need to understand the concept of stress.

Continue reading “Are You Stressed? Discussing The Different Types Of Stress”